Family Update

The pediatrician called this morning- the most recent giardia test- POSITIVE!  ugh!  We will pick up another round of antibiotics in the morning.  We cannot wait until this pest is GONE!!

Last week Igor was sick.  I knew he had a cold but he rarely complains when he is sick and he doesn't slow down so if he doesn't have a temperature I never know how sick he really is.  One night before bed he said "I cannot  get all my air out."  The next morning we were in the pediatrician's office.  He had walking  pneumonia.  He is feeling much better now.

On Sunday the scouts had their annual rain gutter regatta.  Igor felt better so we let him race (blow his sailboat down the length of a gutter)  He placed third in his den!

Little Ms. Merone is learning new words everyday.  She is now saying: buckle, goo gurl (good girl), shool (school), I love you.  Her personality continues to emerge.  When were in Ethiopia she was quiet and reserved.  That personality continued to show itself for a month or so once we were home. Now she is very happy>  She loves to be in the middle of whatever is going on.  Kickball game in the yard with the boys- she's in!  Someone getting a hug- she wants one too.  She talks (babbles) all the time, sets up tea parties, loves play dough, plays with babies and LEGOs .  She LOVES Henry and Igor.  She is a wonderful blessing to our family.

A new family order

**** I am not an expert on adoption or claim to have all the answers. This post is to share our experiences after adopting three children.***

Every time a new child comes into our family a new order needs to be established. We experienced this with each of our children.  Although, the new order for Igor had the most impact on us, his parents.  We moved to a couple with no children to parents of a 3 1/2 year old.  Wow, did our lives change quickly!  We rejoiced because we were finally parents but there was some grieving for the care-free life style we lived before parenthood.

When we adopted Henry there was  a time of disorder that occurred prior to the "new normal".  It took  months to see the completion of this reordering process but in every family the re-ordering process can look different.  The  months of re-ordering were very hard for Igor who went from an only child to a big brother.  He regressed about a year when Henry came home.  It's hard to watch the regression in your children but it's natural, it happens in most families then something clicks for the child and the child moves forward again. 

The re-ordering process is a very difficult time for each family member because we are all impacted to different degrees.

I have found it difficult to balance Henry's emotional neediness with the minute by minute needs of Merone who has taken barnacle to a new level.   Henry has been regressing before my eyes.... He wants to drink from a bottle, he cries more often, he wants to ride in the stroller, and so on.  Igor less impacted because he remains the "oldest" but he still needs to learn compassion and love for Merone.

Today, I am lowering my expectations of what each child is capable of and of what I can do for each child.  I'm not doing this because I think my children are lazy or have emotionally checked out... it's because family re-ordering has taken an emotional toll on all of us.  Igor is "faking it until" he feels compassion and love for Merone.  Henry is experiencing a loss of his position of being the "baby" and I need to have compassion for him as he sorts out his role in our family.  So for now, he can have a bottle or ride in the stroller.  Yes, some of you are gasping at this thought but I am choosing to meet Henry where is emotionally right now.  I know he won't stay in this place for long.  When I have a few minutes, I am trying to make some special one on one time for Henry and Igor, after all older siblings need mom too.  

Our family through the eyes of Igor

Igor created "baseball" cards for our family.  Using index cards, he drew pictures and listed a few facts about each family member.  When he presented them to me I was struck by what we looked like and what he wrote.  I laughed out loud when I read Henry's card. 

Dad

 

 

 

His Mom and Dad live in another city.
Likes Michigan Sports.
He preaches at church.

Mom

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 She helps me clean my room and drives the car for me. 
She likes candy.

She likes to plant things. 

We play together.

Igor as a super hero

  (I was sure this was Henry until I flipped the card over)

  I like to play with my dad.
  I like to ride my bike.
  I like to play outside.
  I like movies.

Henry

  He's the youngest in our family.

He likes to play.

He wants to wake up everyone in the middle of the night.

 

Orphanage dust and a new order

Over the last few years I have written about Orphanage dust that has entered our home. Last January the air was thick with dust and it was a very unstable time for our family- particularly Igor. A new family order was being established and Igor had to face some of his past in order to move into the future. So here we are over a year after the Dust Bunny the size of Kansas covered our home and we finally feel like a family. We still have hard days but they are spaced further and further apart. I look at Igor and I see how far he has come. The harden shell that formed while in the orphanage is peeling off layer by layer. I am seeing an amazing boy becoming comfortable in his new skin.

A sweet friend sent us an e-mail this week saying she too has noticed a change in Igor. She wrote:
I was enjoying some of your recent photos and all of a sudden it dawned on me that in many of them, Igor has a real smile on his face! He's obviously making huge progress, I'm sure you see, but sometimes it is nice to have someone else to acknowledge it.

Today I am rejoicing that our family FINALLY feels like a family. I also thank God for the growth in Igor. I pray Igor will continue to grow more confident in who is not who he was.
2 Corinthians 5:17
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.

Snow, snow, please come today

Igor has been looking out the window for days asking when will it snow. He remembers several snow storms at the “old house”. I've told him that we’ve moved south and it doesn’t snow here very often.

Over the last few weeks the weather man has predicted a chance of snow but no snow has fallen. Thursday night the weather man said it would snow on Saturday. On Friday, Igor’s nursery school teacher told the children that King Winter and Jack Frost were coming!

This morning we woke up to rain. After it rained all morning, I told Igor that I didn’t think it was going to snow today. I was wrong! At 2:30, Igor squealed with delight as he saw the first snow flakes fall. He asked dad if they could make a snowman and go sledding. A snowball fight was offered up instead. Igor is having a ball in the snow!

We are back

Rob whisked me off to Winston-Salem, NC to celebrate our anniversary. While we were there we visited the art district, went to the movies, enjoyed sight-seeing and had a wonderful anniversary dinner.

We saw The Bucket List which had us crying at the end. We recommend seeing the movie.

Locating the perfect restaurant for our anniversary dinner was a comedy of errors. Rob thought we would explore the city and find the perfect place. I am much more of a planner but since he put this anniversary event together, I agreed. Downtown Winston-Salem doesn't have a restaurant district so after the movie we drove around searching for a place to eat. We ended up feeling a little bit like Goldilocks.

• The first restaurant was too casual (sandwiches and salads)



• The second restaurant's wait was over an hour



• The third restaurant was too smokey



• The forth restaurant was too expensive



• The fifth restaurant was a pizza joint



• The sixth restaurant was perfect!

We had a great waiter and the food was excellent. It was a wonderful anniversary. We had so much fun we decided every year we should go away for our anniversary.

Igor had a wonderful time with his grandparents while we were away!

Hiking Trip

Here are some pictures from the 7 mile (round trip) hiking trip. Igor walked all but one mile!

Michigan wins

This post is for my dear husband who LOVES all things Michigan... Yesterday, Rob had us all dress in Michigan gear to show support for his beloved Wolverines. Michigan won a very close and exciting game.

Rob is a bit of a sports fanatic... he is passing this down to our son. Here's Igor as we change the flag. He is running with the Pistons flag (showing his support) before we hang it out front.

Preparing for another child and Igor continues to grow up

Igor continues to grow like a weed. He has grown 3/4 of an inch in 5 months! He is getting too big for his little car bed.

At the family reunion we learned that Rob's uncle and aunt wanted to give away their son's bunk bed. Did someone say they were giving away a bunk bed??? We would love to have a bunk bed for our growing family!

On Friday, we drove 4 hours to Rob's Uncle & Aunt's house. It was great to spend time with Dave, Jeannie and their kids. It's cool that the beds can remain in the family. We were also able to have lunch with Aunt Shawn who lives in the next town!

Igor was so excited he wanted to set the bed up as soon as we arrived home! Rob and I were exhausted so we set them up the next afternoon.

When we put the top bunk up we realized that the ceiling fan will have to come down. It's so close to the top bunk. Igor can touch it. YIKES. Igor LOVES his new bunk bed! He likes to play on the top bunk but currently sleeps on the bottom.

Big changes

Monday night Igor's nursery school had a
lantern walk. It is inspired by St. Martin,
a fourth century army officer who -
according to legend - went out into
the night searching for people in need
of help. As we walked around the pond
the only light was from our home
made lanterns.
We hung our lanterns in the trees before
warming up in front of the bonfire.
We enjoyed baked apples and cookies
in front of the fire.

Our new windows were installed this week. Work should be finished by Thanksgiving!
On Friday, we had a "gotcha day" party for Igor. He has been part of our family for two years! He has grown up so much in 24 months.

My little brother's name.....

When we adopted from Russia a co-worker's son, Quinn, made a welcome home card for Igor. Quinn drew his family on the card. Each family member was a different color. I was and still am touched by this little boy who made a card for our son.

Quinn started a new tradition in our family, whenever a family member is drawn, they are a specific color- Daddy is blue, Mommy is pink and Igor is yellow (Igor's choice). We always write our names under the pictures. A couple months ago we added Igor's little brother to our family picture (Igor assigned him orange) but we haven't written his name. Today, Igor and I were drawing with chalk. I drew our family and started to write our names. Igor told me to write his little brother's name. I asked what his name was and Igor spelled BOC. I asked Igor how to pronounce the name and he spelled out the letters BOC. Then he added- "That how you say it, mom." Hmmm, I am pretty sure we will not be naming our second son BOC, but for now, that's his name.

Fall Festival

Our church's Fall Festival was a lot of fun. Children came in costume. Here's Igor as a fire fighter! We had a moon bounce (Igor's favorite), games, crafts, food and pumpkin painting. A good time was had by all.

Do You Hear What I Hear?

Do You Hear What I Hear? Said the night wind to the little lamb,"Do you see what I see? Do you see what I see?".....
If you spend anytime at our house, you will hear Christmas Carols. Why so early? In September we went to the mall. When we walked through JCP, Igor saw Christmas trees and Christmas decorations. As soon as we arrived home Igor ran to his CD collection to find his "Christmas" (music). I tried to explain, that Christmas was still months away. We still had Columbus Day, Fall Festival/Halloween, Thanksgiving and then it would be Christmas. Igor gave me a blank look then cranked up the music. Since then, Christmas music has been on Igor's daily play list.

This week Igor has been practicing a new song, "Where is Pumpkin". His nursery school teacher has been teaching him the song for their fall program. The song has been a nice diversion from the Christmas carols.