Welcome to Rob and Candy's Blog

We are going PINK- we are adopting a little girl from Ethiopia. We'll be sharing our journey to adopt our daughter!

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Orphanage dust

Please read this blog (at least the first two paragraphs) then come back to read my post.... It's important that you read this mom's perspective before you read what is next.. so, if you skipped the blog, please Click here now.

For over 18 months we have prepared our hearts and mind for Henry. We have tried our best to prepare Igor. We were not sure how Igor would deal with a sibling but we've talked to him, prayed, read books to him, let him be part of the preparations, he was paired with younger child at his nursery school, etc. We did what we could to prepare him for a family that included one more.

Igor was adopted at age 3 1/2, so he has still spent more time in an orphanage than with us. Occasionally we deal with remnants of "orphanage dust" that seems to creep up when we least expect it. We knew that Igor might regress a little bit when Henry arrived but how can you prepare for that?

We've only been home two and a half weeks and we are still in the honeymoon phase with Henry but so far I haven't seen his orphanage dust. The orphanage dust that has settled into our house is not Ethiopian but Russian.

Igor loves his little bother, he plays with him and he is kind to his little brother but our family is in transition. This issue is not with Henry but with Igor. Igor likes order, routine, he needs things to be constant. Right now there is a lack of order in our house. A new order is being established in our house and Igor is unsettled. The orphanage dust in our house is a dust bunny the size of Kansas. It's going to take time to get all the dust out... but we will love Igor through the cleaning and reordering process.

7 comments:

ethiHOPEia said...

You are in my thoughts and prayers. Your testimony of love for "better or worse" is beautiful.

KLT said...

Thanks for your honest account. I can identify with "orphanage dust," for sure. Sometimes, though, I find it hard to know what is orphanage dust that needs to be worked through and what is just Ethan and needs to be accepted.

I expect a considerable upheaval when our family expands. I experienced "establishing the new order" once already (with a 5 month old baby learning to share her home with a strange, new 2 year old brother). What a challenging yet important time! I pray for grace for your family as you adjust.

Blessings,
Kristy Tapper

CM and JM said...

"Orphanage Dust" what a great discription of the process of upheaval and finding order!! It's soooo true...
-Carine

Matthew said...

I like that description of DUST...something I can understand. I also really like the article you referenced. Thank you. Your adjustment from a family of three to four is in my prayers!

Melodie

E said...

Thanks so much for sharing this. You've given me a lot to think about in reading this & the link!

Danielle said...

Candy,
You are amazing. I love the way you (and Theresa!)describe this process. I am sure we will be there soon enough. Re-ordering is never easy, and I'm a little scared how adoption will further complicate the process. But, I know God is on the throne but also in the day-to-day, so I'm sure we'll be calling on him a lot more than usual. Love to you!

Jori said...

Process - orph. dust ... So many things to work through. Praying for you guys as well.
love, jori