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We are going PINK- we are adopting a little girl from Ethiopia. We'll be sharing our journey to adopt our daughter!

Monday, July 14, 2008

Losing our referral and moving on...

I've started several blog entries but none of them "feel" right... I really don't know what to say.

Thanks to all who have e-mailed, called or posted a note on our blog. We haven't been able to get back to everyone but we appreciate you all! On Friday and Saturday we needed some time to process everything. We are over the shock and are moving on. We've changed our computer wallpaper back to Igor's picture. We haven't decided what to do with the child's pictures. Keeping the pictures doesn't feel right but deleting them feels wrong. For now we are keeping the pictures and video.

We shared the news with Igor who kept asking "why" but accepted the news. Now he tells people that he is getting a different brother.

I bought a couple outfits for the child we were referred. I haven't decided if I should return the clothes or if I should keep them. I don't know what the odds are of receiving another 2 year old is.....

Saturday morning we went blueberry picking. Rob, Igor and I pick 8 pounds of blueberries! I froze several quarts then I canned blueberry syrup. Rob and I tried some syrup tonight on ice cream. We both were disappointed, it didn't have enough blueberry flavor! I know it's not the blueberries because they are delicious raw. I think I will try a different recipe next time.

Yesterday Igor and I picked our first zucchini! We defied the wildlife! We are growing zucchini in planter boxes.

Since we probably won't be going to Ethiopia this year we have decided to go on vacation in August. We need to get away. I'm trying to find a beach house or condo at one of the Carolina beaches. Since it is so late in the season I haven't been able to find a place in the right location for the right price. This week, I hope to find the perfect place in our price range!

Igor and I have been spending a lot of time listening to music. Since learning the sad news about our referral Igor has been listening to:

and somedays I listen to this.... WARNING... this song is raw, edgy, heavy and a little disturbing. Which could describe some of my feelings (occasionally). Well except the disturbing part. The song is sung by a Christian band. I promise I am okay. Sometimes I feel like I need new breath breathed into me... have you ever felt that way too?


The Gillman Family said...

Candy and Rob

We are praying for you all! I know it hurts but God has just the right child for you. When we switched from the ES program we had to let go of what we visually saw our child looking like - it's though but God will heal your heart and be with you to the end of this process.

Kim (YG)

E said...

I'm praying for you all and so sorry!

Under the Mercy...


Zack & Rebecca Caldwell said...

I can't imagine what this must be like and I am so sorry you are having to endure this...I admire your strength and pray that God will comfort you during this time.

ethiHOPEia said...

I am SO sorry to hear your news. I have been gone for over a week and have been missing all the drama going on...I got some internet connection tonight and just happened to go to your blog and saw your post. I will be praying for you!
In Christ,
Hilary Forrest

Sherry said...

Candy & Rob -

My heart aches to know what you are processing through right now! I am so sorry for your loss of this little boy. We continue to pray you through this difficult time!

Sherry Semlow

Roscoe and Julia Richardson said...

Candy and Rob,

We are praying for healing.

I wanted to suggest Topsail Island in the Carolinas - it is on the south of Outer Banks - we often went in August and got cheaper rates - it isn't as crowded down there either. A good vacation by the beach can be so renewing. We're praying for renewal!


Carpenters said...

I know it's not the same, but I remember when we declined the referral for Josiah. I couldn't look at his picture. It was really hard and sad. This situation would have been much harder for me. We will be praying for you all.

With Love,

beBOLDjen said...

Candy I am so sorry this happened and for the loss :( I am praying for you and your family.

I have to say that as I was listening to the music you had posted I raised a fist to the air and said "yea, Candy rocks" Who knew?! I've never met you in person but that picture is a little deceiving... you rocker you. You're a mulitfacted woman!I like it.

shawn and tisha said...

I'm so sorry you guys are having to go through this. I pray that you will be able to get away on vacation and be refreshed and comforted by Jesus.
With love,

PS. So glad you were able to sneak the zucchini past the animals!!

Andrea said...

I am a little behind and just realized what you have been through. We are so sorry and are praying for you. Only God knows who your son is and He doesn't make mistakes, but I can't imagine how had this must be. Praying you get news so soon of your son and get renewed spirit and hope when you see his face. We will keep you in our prayers and check back to see your great news.

April Kummer said...

Hi. You don't know who I am, but my name is April Kummer. My husband and I just found out today that we lost the referral of the little girl we have been trying to adopt now for nearly two years. We received her referral in February of 2007. She is in Vietnam. We don't know what will happen to her..

I just thought that I would let you know that we are praying for you and other families out there in the same situation. We also have a two year old son and it is difficult to explain to him what is going on. He just keeps saying he wants to go pick up baby sister.

God is good... though we do not understand what He is doing now or what His purpose has been in waiting these two years, just that we would lose this little girl. We will pick up and figure out how to go forward... somehow.