Welcome to Rob and Candy's Blog

We are going PINK- we are adopting a little girl from Ethiopia. We'll be sharing our journey to adopt our daughter!

Thursday, February 26, 2009

The Primal Wound

In my never ending search to help Igor deal with the past I read The Primal Wound, Understanding the adopted child. I wish I could say, "This is the book with all the answers!" but I cannot. This is a book for adults who were adopted and feel wounded. If you are a parent of a hurting adopted child it's a sobering look at adoption... but one that I am not in complete agreement with. The author only interviewed "broken" adult adoptees (is that a word?) who were in need of counseling so it is not a balanced look at adoption. I spoke to an assistant professor of psychology last week about the book and she confirmed that this is not the book I should be reading to help Igor. As I read the book I felt my hope being sucked out of my body and that is not what I am looking for.

Last week I read- At Your Word Lord and I was delighted when I read this: "Children who are adopted often need special prayers and visualization.... A child who has lost his or her mother, though rejection or death, often suffers deep wounds that need to be healed, no matter how happy they are in their adopted family." I felt as though the author was speaking directly to me. I felt hope wash over me. The author offers a suggestion on how to pray for adopted children who are hurting. Many of you know our precious little boy and have being praying for him. I ask that you would join us in praying for Igor in a very specific way. Pray/ask Jesus to heal Igor's memories from conception, birth, separation from his birth mother and any perceived rejection on Igor's behalf. Ask Jesus to heal any hurts from his time in the orphanage.
Mark 9:23 (NIV) ......Everything is possible for him who believes.

Friday, February 20, 2009

Insurance, Henry's first hair cut, Igor's paintings, Birthday

On Thursday our insurance was reactivated!! Praise, praise, praise!!

Henry went for his first haircut on Friday. Babushka was with me to document the haircut with photos. I am learning the barber shop protocol. Is it first come first serve? Which barber cuts little kids hair? Can you wait for a specific barber? What days are the busiest? A gentleman who owns a clothing shop next to the barber's shop was hanging out at the shop. He taught me where it sit, showed me the barbers who cut children's hair, etc... He was very helpful! The barber, Mark, was awesome but Henry was scared.


Here are Igor's latest paintings
Did you notice that the flowers were smiling?

Friday was Rob's birthday. Here are boys helping daddy open presents.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Henry, Igor and our Insurance

Henry loves his flavored medicine! He opens his mouth as soon as I remove the bottle from the refrigerator. If your child tests positive for giardia I highly recommend going to a special pharmacy which will compound and flavor the medicine for your child. We are on day 2 1/2 of the medicine but we can see a difference. YAH!!
Last night at dinner we were talking about orphans and orphanages. I asked Igor if he wanted to paint a picture for an Orphan's Ticket Home Gala. He said, "Sure but I want to draw a picture right now." Here's Igor's picture of a mom and dad with their adopted child. According to Igor the letters next to each person is their made up name because Igor doesn't know this family. I don't know why the dad only has two teeth but I love the fact that each family member has a heart and they are all holding hands. The belly buttons made me smile.

I have talked to the insurance company more than I would like to admit. I finally spoke with a woman who really wanted to help me sort the situation out. She spoke with several departments and supervisors but we still do not have a resolution to the situation. She said they have 30 days to review the documents. So we wait....

Monday, February 16, 2009

Henry started his medicine!

The pharmacist called this afternoon to say Henry's prescription (for giardia) was ready for pick up! Yippee! The medicine smells very tasty- grape bubble gum. Henry took his first dose with dinner. He did not spit it out which is a wonderful thing. We cannot wait for Henry to be healthy!

Friday, February 13, 2009

No Antibiotics this weekend....

The doctor called me last night around 5 PM to say the pharmacist would call me late Friday afternoon to confirm Henry's prescription was ready. Evidently it would take all day to compound and flavor the medicine. I hadn't heard anything at 4PM today so I called the pharmacy since they closed at 5PM. The woman said they had no record of the prescription. I called the pediatrician's office and they said they'd call me back. It turns out the pharmacist misplaced the prescription and cannot fill it until Monday or Tuesday. The doctor's office called the hospital to see if they could fill the prescription tonight but they cannot not fill it until Monday. It appears that compounding pharmacists don't work weekends or after 5PM in our town. There is no way Henry will take the medicine without the flavor so we will wait.

When I was changing Henry's diaper this evening Igor came in the bathroom and threw up on the bathroom floor. This is unusual for Igor because he has only thrown up when car sick. Before Igor went to bed last night he said he thought he had bugs in his tummy... hmmmm.... He was fine when he got up this morning for school. I called the pediatrician's office right before they closed (I'm pretty sure they recognize my voice when I say hello). They are going to test Igor for giardia and also for norovirus which is making the rounds in our town. Igor said he felt better after he got sick so I'm not sure what's going on with Igor's tummy. He will sleep with a trash can next to his bed just in case.... I will be bleaching doorknobs, handles, knobs and counter tops after everyone is asleep....

Oh, and the last big thing that happened in the last 24 hours- Our Health Insurance company wrote us a letter to say they canceled our policy. heavy sigh... Of course it's a terrible mix up. I hand carried paperwork to the insurance company today hoping to get it straightened out. They informed me that they can take up to 30 days to review the paperwork and reinstate our policy.... Uh, 30 days really doesn't work for our family. I plan on calling them everyday for a status until this is resolved. I know it sounds a little over the top but we really cannot be in limbo land for 30 days.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Henry's test results are in

The pediatrician called this afternoon. Henry still has giardia. In a weird way this is good news because it explains his drop in the percentiles, his tummy issues and hopefully his erratic sleep patterns. We will start a 6 day antibiotic tomorrow. The pediatrician is sending me to a compounding pharmacy not our local drug store chain. This pharmacy specializes in masking the flavor of terrible tasting medicine. The pharmacist promises the medicine will taste like bubble gum so Henry will not spit it out. We will see. It all sounds too wonderful to believe. There is a catch, they don't take insurance! We have to file a claim to be reimbursed. I am looking forward to Henry feeling better soon!

Our two boys...

Here's the thank you note I sent to my mom this week... Igor's note is honest and to the point... and I'm pretty sure I have perfectly translated Henry's thoughts/words.

Dear Nana,
thank you for my bugs. I like them but so does Henry so I have hid them so no one can see them.
I really like Henry's birthday present (cars). When Henry wasn't looking I took his cars and hid them in my room because I like cars more than him... plus I'm 6 1/2 yrs old and I like to hide things. Don't tell Henry because I don't want him to play with race cars, he's too little.
love,
Igor

Dear Nana,
Thank you for my races cars. I play with them while Igor is at school. He doesn't know that I found them in his bed! I like to lay in his bed when he's not home and play. Don't tell him because mommy says it's a secret. Igor got some very cool bugs. I like to look at them but Igor hid them from me. I am still looking for them. I hope to find them soon!
love,
Henry

Igor and Henry

Henry has found Igor's outdoor toys in the garage. Henry is fascinated with Igor's scooter. I need to get Henry a helmet because he has almost figured out how to ride the scooter!

Henry loves to play with the wagon while Igor is at school. When Igor got off the bus and saw the wagon was out he said, "I've got an idea, I'll pull Henry in the wagon."

Igor took Henry around the block! Here's Igor pulling Henry up the hill. If you listen closely (don't mind the wind) you can hear Henry saying - WOW! video

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Henry's weight and Igor

Rob dropped off Henry's "sample" at the pediatrician's office this morning. We hope the results will come back saying he is giardia free. Since Rob had Henry with him the nurse asked if she could weigh him. Rob agreed but was surprised by the request since he didn't have an appointment. The nurse weighed Henry. She said he isn't gaining weight fast enough so he has dropped from the 36th percentile to the 33rd percentile. She wanted to know if Rob wanted to meet with the doctor. He declined since one major piece to the puzzle is test results for giardia.

Rob and I were a little shocked by the drop in percentile but when I look back on the last few days it makes sense. I'm not a doctor but I still think something is wrong with Henry's tummy.
Henry was eating 6 meals a day. You read that correctly- 6 meals a day! I was so concerned about the amount he was eating I consulted with the doctor. She said to feed him if he was hungry. We wanted to make sure he knew we would meet his need if he was hungry.
The last few days Henry has limited the amount he will eat to 2 or 3 small meals a day. Tonight he didn't eat his dinner, a meal he has previously inhaled. Henry has even refused his bottle the last two nights.... hmmmm. I hope the test results will help us understand what is going on with Henry.

Igor's tongue is on the mend but it's still painful. It is going to take more than the 7-10 days the dentist quoted me but I do see improvement!

Today was a particularly bad day for Igor. In previous posts I have written about the dust bunny in our house but today a different analogy hit me- wounding. Igor has some deep wounds as a result of being in an orphanage. Over time these wounds have healed but one wound scabs up but never quite heals. Today, the scab of that wound was ripped off and we had to deal with the consequences. It was not pretty. This afternoon I prayed with Igor for the wound to heal. Igor said, in a defeated way, that it will never go away.... my heart was so heavy. I told Igor I would never stop praying for him and we would continue to work with him and do everything possible for the wound to finally heal. I want my precious little boy to know hope and healing!

Monday, February 9, 2009

Henry says what?

Henry is a BIG talker. As soon as he gets up in the morning he starts talking, singing, yelling... yes, even at 4AM when I want to wake up sloooowly, Henry is up and ready to go. Henry has so much to tell me but I do not understand a word. I wish I could video tape his chatter because he is sooo animated and funny. Every time I get out the camera Henry turns silent.


On Friday an Ethiopian exchange student, Muli, came over to play with Henry and listen to him talk. Of course, our little chatter box was silent for the first half hour, then gradually started to talk. Muli said that Henry only spoke one word in Amharic, the rest was baby talk. Henry has excellent receptive skills, he did almost everything Muli asked him to do in Amharic.

Muli explained that Henry's double shoulder shrug means "no" or "I don't want to". This makes sense because when I tell Henry not to go in the road he looks me right in the eye, he gives me the double shoulder shrug then he heads for the street. Now I know he is being defiant... hmmmm... Henry understands several phrases in English such as:

1. go get your shoes

2. go see Igor/Daddy/Mommy

3. give this to Igor/Daddy/Mommy

4. It's time to go

5. Come here


Henry's English has been limited to one word - MAMA - but in the last few days he has added Mommy, gbye (good bye), and Wow. Tonight at dinner I put a biscuit on his plate and he said, "WOOOW!" Igor thought Henry learning "wow" was very cool. I wonder what he will learn next?

Thursday, February 5, 2009

Tongue trouble and climbing

Igor came home the other day crying- he had bitten off a very small portion of his tongue! He couldn't sleep Tuesday night because he was in so much pain. He fell asleep at midnight. Henry woke up at 2AM and wanted to play. I love my children.

Who do you call with a tongue injury??? The pediatrician or the dentist?? I called the dentist first because they opened at 8AM and the pediatrician opened at 8:30. It turns out dentists deal with tongues. The dentist asked if I had the part of the tongue that had been bitten off. We didn't so she said there was probably very little she could do without it but offered us an appointment to make sure the area wasn't infected. The good news is - no infection and it should heal in 7-10 days. Igor has a special rinse to help the tongue heal but otherwise it has to heal on its own.

Igor likes to hide his toys. Before Henry arrived he hid special toys under his bed. Now that Henry is here Igor wanted to put his special toys out of Henry's reach so Igor put them on the top bunk. Igor knew Henry climbed the bunk bed ladder but stopped at the second rung so he assumed the toys would be safe. The other day Henry saw the special toys on the top bunk and that's all the incentive he needed to climb the ladder to the top. I've never seen Henry so determined to get some where! Igor is now searching for a new hiding place.

Monday, February 2, 2009

Henry's Birthday and we've been home a month!

On Sunday we celebrated Henry's Birthday! Babushka had a cake made with Henry's picture on it

I helped Henry blow out the candles



Henry enjoyed eating the frosting more than the cake



Igor helped Henry open his presents... Igor was much more "into" the party than Henry. Henry did show off his personality!


Today marks one month since we have been home with Henry! Life is starting to settle down and we have a daily routine. Henry remains a good natured, happy little boy. We are so grateful he is part of our family. He remains a barnacle, stuck to my side most of the day, but he is playing more on the floor with his toys, especially with Igor. He also likes to get down to take all the phones off the hook (sorry for the busy signal if you try to call) or get into the pots and pans cupboard.

A HUGE PRAISE- Henry has slept through the night for the last three nights! I hope this is the turning point!! Henry's tummy is still not right. He takes his last pill for giardia tomorrow. Henry and Igor are finding a good balance in being brothers and friends, YAHHH!
Here's Igor cuddling with Henry at bedtime ... of course, Igor is making a silly face...

Henry and I went to the Social Security Administration Office to apply for his social security card this morning. There must have been 45 people in the waiting room when we arrived. I thought it was going to take hours to be called but I was wrong. We were in and out of the office in 15 minutes! We should have his card in two weeks.