Yesterday was a great day for our agency! Several families were issued referrals for their children! I love when referrals are issued, it means there is movement, it brings me hope.
WARNING- the next paragraph contains self-pity and whining....
While yesterday was a time of joy it also brought sadness. We sent our dossier to AWAA the last week of September 2007. Yesterday was the first day I was sooo tired of the wait. I know in my heart that our referral will come at the perfect time. I know that we are waiting for a reason. However, yesterday I was ready to say I'm done. The words, "Let's stay a 3 person family and move on" flashed through my mind. I thought it for a minute then I came to my senses.
Rob and I are reading Your God Is Too Safe as a devotion. Last night Rob read the following paragraph:
The Psalms are the prayers that God's covenant people have birthed out of their celebration and anguish, their hope and hopelessness, their anger and forgiveness, their captivity and exile and conquest through triumph. They track a path through the vastness of human emotion, its tundras and its jungles, and direct all of it Godward. What do you do with you hatred, bitterness, ecstasy, weariness, heaviness, longings, disappointments, despair, and desires? To whom can you entrust all that? Centuries of wisdom tell us that the Psalms give form to and language for the fullness and undiluted, to God. They are gathering places, repositories, where the mundaneness and tragedy and glory of being human can be sorted out and given back as worship. As prayer.
I really needed to hear those words, it was an "ah ha" moment for me. I was reminded of
Psalm 5: 1-3
O Lord, hear me as I pray;
pay attention to my groaning.
Listen to my cry for help, my King and my God,
for I pray to no one but you.
Listen to my voice in the morning, Lord.
Each morning I bring my requests to you and wait expectantly.
I prayed this Psalm as we waited for Igor's court date. I will now pray it as we wait for our referral. Today, I feel much better about our adoption and the wait.
Another contributor to yesterday's sadness was an agency update on the referral we lost. Please continue to pray for this little boy.