Welcome to Rob and Candy's Blog

We are going PINK- we are adopting a little girl from Ethiopia. We'll be sharing our journey to adopt our daughter!

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

The things people say...

When we adopted Igor strangers commented on how much Igor looked like Rob. We would smile saying thank you... we were an "undercover" adoptive family. We could choose, on our terms, if and when we would share Igor was adopted.

We knew when we adopted Henry people would comment but I wasn't sure what they'd say. Here are a few of the things people have said to us in the last 2 months:

  • Girl Scouts- They ask if Henry is adopted. Yes. Since he is adopted does he feel like your kid? Honestly, we cannot remember Rob's reply... but I know it was kind and gentle. It also affirmed that Henry felt like our son.

  • Middle school boy (I do not know this boy) we saw on a walk- Are you baby sitting today? No. Is he adopted? (looking at Henry in the stroller) Yes. Oh, I'm not trying to be a racist but he is darker than you. I wanted to say, "Oh, you think so?" but I kindly said yes, he is a different color, as I walked on... the boy continued to say I'm not a racist or anything but he is darker than you....
  • African American Cashier at the grocery store- What's his daddy? Ah, Shirrr, Ah what's the name? (I think she was trying to say Sri Lanka) He's Ethiopian. Ah hunnnnh, that's it, you can tell by the hair. You know where he's from the women have to cover their hair, they have beautiful hair but you cannot see it. What do you put in his hair? Luster's Pink Classic Light Oil Moisturizer. You put it in so it doesn't get too dry? Yes. It's near India, right? (asking if Ethiopia is near India??) Not exactly... Do you have any other kids? Yes. How come you don't bring them in? My other son is in school right now. I pay and walk out feeling as though I have just left an episode of the Twilight zone.
  • Middle school girl walking by our house (I don't know this girl)- My mom wanted to know if you adopted. Yes. Oh, my friends adopted from Africa and the girls are 4 and 6. They have to learn English all over again because they didn't speak it (this is not a typo, that's what she said.) You can tell you mom she can come down anytime to meet Henry. Okay, I will. What's your name? Candy

As Henry's English continues to expand he will soon understand these conversations. Rob and I will have to find the right balance between answering questions and guarding Henry's heart, feelings and privacy.


ethiHOPEia said...

Hi Candy! I had a bit of a laugh reading your remarks on the "remarks" given to you! :)

We are HOME! Yeah!

I got a kid's album for you of music, I played one I got for our family and Ephrem LOVES it. I didn't get as much shopping done as I would have liked, so I only got that one album.


shawn and tisha said...

It's really odd to me that so many people feel free to totally butt into a complete stranger's life. I don't get that.

Jaime said...

oh candy! reading your posts i was laughing, and sad at the same time. i also get asked questions like this about my own bio kids (my husband is biracial). i also struggle with what to say to these weird comments.

Susan said...

That's what you get for leaving the house. :-) We had a little kid ask if we were babysitting for the first time this past weekend. It was a good teaching moment for him.

Love you! Susan

The Stackler Clan said...

Thanks for posting this Candy! I have a way of snapping at people when they say something stupid. It is good to read your kind and gentle responses. Our boy will be almost 2 when he comes home so it is really great to read about your adventures.